Alternative ways of living in a great family like community

I was very excited and happy to spend the next three weeks in a family: with Tara and her three boys (Fiagh 2, Ruari 11 & Cian 15 years), a French student (Cyprien 10 years) and her dog Cumhara in Garretstown Beach close to Kinsale. Well, I love the area here :-).

I had really a great time in Tara's family and I felt immediately integrated and comfortable there and this very special community. Even I see that I need usually a couple of days to settle in at a new place. But that's ok though.

I'm happy for getting a nice insight in the great community in Garretstown Beach. For example I was lucky and attended a baby blessing which was amazing for me and I was really touched. 

And of course I was happy to see alternative nice way to deal with children. To put it simple: just let them behave like children.

Not only the community is great in Garretstown also the surroundings are amazing. I went everyday for a long walk often accompanied by lovely Cumhara who was actually more like a cat than a dog... 

Only in Ireland: mobile sauna at Garretstown Beach. Cumhara's favorite place.
After the sauna you can jump into the sea to cool down.
Actually I didn't dare to jump. It was too cold but at least I cooled my legs :-).
I'm also very impressed how Tara organized all the tasks everyday which included everyday a great healthy vegetarian meal. The most impressing point for me was that she was never really stressed out or rather she still took time for cuddling with her boys.

And familiar faces from Kinsale got a name and I got to know to some more through Tara.

And due to I'm still not used to the weather my body or rather my hands showed me that in a very annoying way. Therefore it's time for a bit sun...
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Family time

I found to Tara through some connection. This means I asked my friend Tamara for her former host's name in Garretstown and wrote to her. But Fiona had already someone but she told me that her friend Tara is looking for someone. I phoned Tara and she was really nice at the phone and easy going. 

She told me that she will in between on holiday but I could mind her dog and the house during her absence. 

I suppose that will be difficult to find someone in Germany who would offer that to an unknown person...

Tara picked me up in Kinsale and brought me to her house where a meeting with other mothers and their children took place. I was immediately integrated. It was great to see all the children were playing but also very exhausting for me due to I wasn't used to such an energy which just children have.

No whale in the well
After a while the mothers said that they'll drive to the wooden where also is a well and I drove with them and their kids. In the wooden my memories came through when I saw a lot of daisies growing... I started to create a daisy chain and I could impress the children a bit by showing them how it works.

I also showed them how it works to whistle with a blade of grass... Hach, so many childhood memories were awake :-). 
Awakes some memories and impresses children... a nice daisy chain
I also could see the well where were tadpole inside. The children where very excited to see the well... But the pronunciation is very similar like 'whale' which is something very different... A little girl was looking in the well and just said: "And where is the whale?!"...
The well without a whale but some tadpoles...
Great vegetarian food
I really eat all - even cinnamon is no problem anymore, I love Chai tea :-) - and since I was in Dzogchen Bearra where they served just vegetarian food I haven't eat meat anymore. It's not that I want to be a vegetarian but Tara cooked mostly great vegetarian food. I had everyday different yummy creations. 

One day Tara needed a bit longer to come home. She gave me a call and asked if I could cook an omelette for the boys. I agreed but I felt under pressure due to she cooks so great and I didn't want to mess it up and disappoint the boys...

Well of course I messed it up due to I thought the whole time that I'll. The result was that firstly I forgot to give milk to the omelette and secondly it burned in the pan... Again the proof when you have bad thoughts you will receive bad things... The boys were very happy when Tara came home :-).
Great food and Pocoyo... Fiagh's favorite series.
Some DIY
Well, cooking is not my greatest talent but some DIY things are exactly my cup of tea. When Tara drove on the weekend with the boys to her parents I offered her that I could do some DIY things ans I painted the children's garden furniture.

By the way her oldest son Cian stayed at home and he cooked a great French Toast for me and him. His pasta was also very great. 

Well, after all my experiences here in Ireland I'm pretty sure I should let the cooking thing and let that task for the guys who are really love doing it. Therefore my boyfriend should have a great interest in cooking. I promise I'll help with chopping etc. but give me the instructions :-).
Pimp my furniture... So cute.
Free space for development
Tara has not only four boys at the moment. She also minds the children of her friends. But I recognized the more children the more they look after each other.

My biggest lesson was that children are allowed to behave like children. This means they are noisy, mess around and in between somebody starts to cry. But nobody yelled "Shout up! Be quiet! Don't bother me! Don't touch this! Behave!" etc. The opposite was the case and it worked out pretty well.

Tara was just smiling when the youngest one Fiagh put his dinner in his cup filled with water or when he started to put the potatoes on his head instead in his mouth :-).

And I always remember and start again to laugh when Ruari came downstairs with Fiagh in his arms and just said: "Fiagh can't sleep anymore because he thinks Cyprien is a zombie..." And than 2 years old Fiagh showed us how Cyprien scared him. What a cute performance! Priceless.
Nice art on the floor :-).
Well, I really took a lot of these experiences for myself and I learnt new ways how to deal with children even it was just a short insight. The children have great manners and are very happy. So this - for me - alternative way works pretty well. The insight was long enough to change my mind in sense of my wish either to have children or not...
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Family like

It was also great that I knew some of Tara's friends just by sight in Kinsale. Now I know their names and some more about them. 

A lot of them studied at the Kinsale College and just never left the surroundings when they finished. So that proves how lovable the place is...

In Garretstown Beach is really a very special community where the people are very open and friendly.

Unforgettable evening
One evening I went out with Fiona (the lovely one who connected me to Tara) in Kinsale and I didn't know that she is also a singer. I got it when she spontaneous asked the DJ in the Shanakee for the microphone and started to entertain the crowd. 

I was stunned! She was really great and the people in the pub cheered her.

By the way I couldn't resist when a guy came to me - I was wearing a t-shirt on which was written 'BAD' - and he just asked me: "How bad you really are?" I just answered: "I wear this shirt to keep the guys away...". Ehm, what should I say else.

Moreover I thought that I already knew the most of the faces by sight in Kinsale but this evening I got to know to one more. There was a kind guy who lives in Kinsale as well. I've never seen him before there which is almost unusual due to how small Kinsale is.

Anyway, on the whole I had really a great evening in the pub with nice chats, dancing and great music. 

When the pub closed everyone said: "Let's go to Murphy's!" Aha, Murphy's... Never heard about this pub... 

But it turned out it wasn't a pub... Actually it was a big house where some people lived together. It was really great there! Some people had instruments with them and just played drums and guitar and instruments I don't have a name for. 

The guy with the creative pick-up line was also there and it turned out he was really kind and cool. I just told him that his pick-up line was not really creative but that he seems to be a nice guy :-).

However, around 5.30am it was time to leave. Everyone who had a car took people with them and gave them a lift. In the car where I sat found actually six people place. Time for cuddling ;-).

I had really an unforgettable evening with nice people in a great community. I'm glad that Fiona took me with her.

Baby blessing
I was really lucky that I could attend a so-called baby blessing. Tara's friend from Sweden was in Garretstown and she was pregnant. 

It is tradition in Garretstwon to hold a baby blessing before the birth. The participants were just women. The following is the summarized procedure:
  • First of all everyone got a tea (I think it doesn't matter which kind of tea...).
  • Then the mummy sat in a chair and her feet get washed in a nice smelling lavender bath. Then everyone was singing together a song for her. 
  • After the song a self-made crone (consists of thin leafy branches) was reached and every woman weaved a flower into the crone. The crone looked so beautiful... 
  • During weaving we sang another song. 
  • When everyone weaved a flower into the crone it was placed on the mummy's head.
  • Then her best friends dried her bathed feet with oats and creamed her hands and feet with nice oil.
  • After this procedure every woman said her name, her mothers name, her grand-mothers name and if possible some more names from their ancestors. Therefore the mummy received some ideas for a girls name. I recognized for myself that I love the Irish names. So I also received great ideas...
  • In the end everyone could say a nice word for the birth like 'joy' etc.
The 'schedule' for the baby blessing.
Well, it was really a nice experience for me and I was really honoured to attend this tradition and I felt very integrated. My favorite song was 'Bella Mama' which sounded so nice when everyone sang it.

Later other people came to Tara's place and everyone brought a great dish with them. It was again a so-called pot luck dinner.

Feeling comfortable in Garretstown
I know that I repeat myself but I really love the atmosphere and the nice community in Garretstown and Kinsale.

For example on my second day at Tara's place she took me with her to her neighbor Susie where someone gave sewing lessons. I created a small bag which wasn't a designer piece but I did it on my own :-).

Moreover I went into the mobile sauna and met some people I knew and had nice chats there. By the way you go with swimming clothes into the sauna. Good that I asked before I went... ;-)

Another day there was a bonfire at someone's house. All people sat around and Fiona played an African drum and a guy played guitar. She gave the instructions for singing a song and everyone sang with her. Even I and I felt great :-).

There was also another Tara who has such a warm and hearty appearance. I think I never met someone before who makes me feel so relaxed and comfortable just by talking and sitting beside her. She has beautiful eyes and I had the feeling she sends a lot of kindness.
Time for some songs...
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Stunning surroundings

Apart from the nice people in Garretstown Beach the surroundings are really stunning.

Actually I went every day for a long walk and most of the time Cumhara followed me and joined me during my meditation. Well, I still stick at this and it is really great and helpful :-). Even just for 10 to 30 minutes it is really great to set my mind on simple awareness.

By the way here is a link to a good internet site which explains what meditation really is and how it works.

Here are some pics from the surroundings where I lived the last three weeks...
Well, that's my favorite pic from the surroundings. Behind me a nice waterfall and a huge cave.
Taken by the great photographer Cian.
Beach and cliffs
Follow your heart...
Cumhara is taking a bath.
A bit like the feeling of Pirates of the Caribbean - the steps in the rock are the so-called smuggler steps.
In the past they were used by smugglers. 
Where smugglers steps are there are some caves as well.
Apart from the mobile sauna there was a mobile cafe... the red bus. 
They served nice food and great coffee. The bus got the energy by a solar system.
It was possible to go upstairs and have a great view over the sea.
Great place for meditation...
My great guardian during my meditation. Cumhara is watching me. 
Sometimes he let me know that he is there by putting his nose against my arm.
I still continue to meditate if I not disturbed by a naked guy who wants to talk with me...
Jap, that can happen.
He came over and asked if I like the naked culture and that there are some nice beaches etc. and if I like them.
I just answered that I like to be on my own... That seemed to work and he left.
Of course I could start again with my meditation and it took me a while to keep it going. Such a strange distraction. Not that it was worth watching it but that happens not everyday. Even in Ireland.
Taken in the wood nearby. Tara and a friend of her went with the children and me in the wood.
"If the path bifurcates, then take it..." quotation from the movie 360 which I watched in the theater with my lovely friend Anika in Germany. The movie line is still in my mind and when I saw the path above I immediately had to think of the quotation. 
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A life changing experience

I'm so happy that I was leaded to Tara's place through connection. Now I love the area around Kinsale even more due to the insight I got in this special community where I felt very integrated and comfortable.

Children's world
Especially to see alternative ways of dealing with children was the biggest benefit for me. Just let them behave like children and take time for cuddles.

Actually, I thought it wouldn't be a great idea to have children on my own. I thought I wouldn't be able to create them a nice environment because I would be annoyed about the noise etc. because I learnt this way and that was my last memory about dealing with children.

But I saw how it can be and that it works pretty much better and of course it's up to me to be either annoyed about the noise or just happy to see them play.

So my experience in Garretstown really changed my mind and I can imagine to have children when I found a place where I'll settle in. I would like to give my experience and what I learnt about myself like 'love yourself' to someone.

Changing with all consequences
In Dzogchen Bearra I learnt a lot about myself. I mentioned it in my last post. When I became aware of some things which were unhealthy for me I started to change my pattern.

That means some things don't suit anymore in my new pattern...

Therefore I had to let them go which I feared first and got a bad conscience in sense of "Oh no I'm changing and it's not fair for the other one...". But before it was an unhealthy role for me and a change means that thoughts and views change as well which is a great development. I was also a bit surprised in a positive way how clear I'm now about some things.

So it was quite obvious for me that I had to clear a for me unhealthy situation and let it go.

To come to conclusion:
I had a great and open-minded chat and after it I could really let things go in a proper and adult way with thanking each other and saying goodbye. So actually it was a 'happy end'.

It's a great development for myself and I'm proud about it. I'm glad about the experience.

So I see I'm on the right way and I'm very curious how I'll get leaded during my journey.

Thanks to my friends who support me with lovely messages. I'm really happy to know you guys are there doesn't matter where we are. :-*

By the way...
Due to my plans to use my trainer education for seminars or workshops to help other people (but not anymore in sense of the rescuer role ;-) ) I'll attended a 2 days workshop in Kilrush which based on Louise Hay's philosophy 'Heal Your Life'.

I would like to see if this is something I could use as content for my plans. In addition it's great for my own development as well. I'm looking forward to this workshop which has the following rule for the participants: willing to change...
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Time for sun

"Wow! You can go where you want to!" - That's a sentence I heard quite a lot from people I met so far on my journey. With changing my pattern I realized: they are right!

Therefore I have decided to spend May in the South due to I need some sun and warm weather.

My new friends: the chilblains!
I really freeze here in Ireland and I'm not joking but I have painful chilblains on the back of my hands...
First I thought it might be sun allergy but that was too odd... Than I suspected Cumhara due to I cuddled him and that he had something in his fur... Another idea was poison ivy but that also odd.

The symptoms are very like chilblains and it looks like them. Very annoying.
Looking ugly and are painful... My new friends the chilblains! 
The only solution is to keep my hands warm...
Moreover I'm a bit fed up with I just looking around for a place close to Kinsale. Even I love this area and the people there it feels a bit aimless.

Next destination: South!
I remembered that the Australian guy Taz offered me few weeks ago a job in his bar in Portugal. But I rejected it due to I wanted to practice my English and also I wanted to see Dominic.

But with starting to change myself and the awareness that I can really go where I want to, I asked Taz wife by email if I could help her in May.

In the meanwhile I checked out the site Helpx which my friend Yin recommended to me. There I asked some hosts in Portugal, Spain and France for a volunteer job. Due to Taz's wife seemed to be very busy and I was quite late with my host search. And when I have an aim than I follow it :-).

Well, I found a host in Alicante in Spain for 2 weeks. After this I'm planning to travel through Spain and will fly back to Dublin in June. I'll leave my heavy luggage in Ireland and just travel with my small backpack.

So far my plan at the moment and I'm open for every new idea... Someone told me Alicante is paradise for climbing. Hmmm...

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