You always meet twice in life

After 4 weeks my job in the hostel in Kinsale was over and I prepared for working on a farm in New Ross. I planned that job in advance when I was in Germany. The next hosts I wanted to organize in Ireland. So after the farm I was open for everything.

Nice was that my new hosts in New Ross wrote me it will be possible to ride. Great I thought at that time! I bought a riding helmet in Germany and brought it with me to Ireland. A bit annoying in my luggage but ok safety first :-). 

Farm experience. Feeding the calves or rather cheating them ;-).  Very strong these small things... My finger is still a bit hurting.

So I took the bus from Kinsale to New Ross and I have to admit that I was very sad to leave Kinsale. Especially due to I want to see Dominic and I felt very comfortable and cosy in Kinsale and in the hostel. 

Of course that's something I didn't know before and when I planned myfarm stay I didn't care that New Ross is actually very far away from Kinsale which means 4:30 hours by bus...

But ok. I thought I'll stay in New Ross around 3 or 4 weeks and then come back closer to Kinsale. And I'll travel on the weekends to Dominic.

Well, it turned out that it wasn't that easy like I thought...

To put it short: 
I'm back in Kinsale now. I left the farm after one week with two Spanish brothers - who I already knew from a hostel in Dublin when I arrived in Ireland - due to we didn't feel comfortable there and obviously the expectation between us and the hosts were very different... 

Welcome on the farm!

On my way to New Ross with my invitation from Dominic for a tea. I didn't reckon that I'll take it that fast...

When we reached the farm she showed me my room and gave me a short tour through the house. It was really huge! Not very tidy but of course a farm is very busy and animals come first.

She showed me their kitchen as well and when I went into it there was a very familiar face... Yeray! A guy from Spain or rather from Teneriffa. I met him and his brother already when I came to Ireland in the hostel in Dublin. Well, like it says "you always meet twice in life...". And what a relief for me they were here turned out later... 

I had a bit time to change my clothes before the work begun. Well, I got the sexy outfit which contained about a fresh washed overall, water proof jacket and rubber boots. And not to forget my nice hoodie I already used for the paintings in Kinsale. I love that item!

After a few days my overall is covered with cow shit and other interesting things... But who cares on a farm? Actually I didn't and got very fast used to it...

Ready for the farm work!

Of course a farm is not a catwalk and working on a farm is though work. I knew that before but I got that when I went to the stables where the cows were and found myself standing until my ankles in a huge pile of cow shit... And I promise that the smell will stick in your clothes, hair and skin. 

But at the end of the day you won't be bothering about that due to you'll be just hungry and happy for the bed. So practical! 

I literally stand deep in the shit...

Feeding time

After I changed my clothes my host took me to the calves due to it was feeding time. That was quite interesting for me. I had heard about that calves suck your finger if you give it to them and that's true! 

Feeding calves is not that easy if you have over 50 of them... First of all the temperature of the milk has to be right which means hand warm. Then you need colostrums that's the special milk from the cows. It's not for human just for the calves. We had to wait until the milk was ready otherwise we had to cook some from the stored milk and mixed it with the cold one. 

By the way: calves smell totally different than their parents. Like sour milk or something.

Feeding the calves

Very strong the small things... It's important that everyone get enough milk. Therefore my job was also to watch them that they don't steel the milk from each other. That means I had to push their heads away and in hard cases I had to hit them... Not nice for me. I often just gave them my finger and cheated them. Sometimes I had one calve  on my right hand and one on my left hand. And don't underestimate their strength...

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The romantic farm life or welcome in the reality...

Like I mentioned I knew that farm work is though work and that's exactly what I wanted to experience. I mean to feel my body at the end of the day and being in the outdoors. 

Well, I felt my body at the end of the day and I was the whole time in the outdoors... but...

• firstly that the work time was from 9am in the mornings to 12am in the evening was something I didn't know before. The profile from my hosts on workaway about the work time seems to be a bit different from the reality... They wrote we just had to work at the milking time... 
• Secondly I had just one day off... in their profile they wrote "at least one day off"...
• Thirdly the farm was in the middle of nowhere which means I couldn't go into the city by feet. In their profile was written the city is 10 min. away... Well by car. Due to there wasn't a bus station you had no chance to go to anywhere...
• Fourthly riding was not possible due to they were pretty busy, hence they brought the horses just on the fields... Well, the last emails didn't mention that.

Ok... That were quite the deal breakers for me, but the worst thing for me was actually the following: 
They didn't talk much to each other, everybody was eating alone and the atmosphere between the hosts was very explosive due to too much work, stress, less sleep and in my opinion bad organisation due to too much things to do. Even I didn't saw the Spanish guys the first days due to too much work.

So I felt very lonely and sad there. I felt very closed and couldn't properly think. I missed my friends, Dominic and Kinsale very much... I tried to consider what I should do. It was said that I'll stay around 4 weeks there... I was thinking "Shall I really go? What is if they are pissed? I've nothing new..."

Then an Italian guy came during the week: Daniele. Finaly I had someone to talk to! I also had the chance to go for a walk during lunch time and Yeray (Spanish guy) came with me. He was very quit at that time and also very closed like me...

We talked about the situation on the farm. Yeray told me he and his brother will leave on Sunday due to it's not the right thing here and the work time is incredible. He told me he was talking to the hosts about that but they were kind of pissed if he asked about the working hours. They were also pissed when he told them he and his brother will leave on Sunday. I told Yeray that my biggest problem is my feeling of loneliness there. The working hours were though but for me in some way ok but that nobody talks and the atmosphere was that bad was something I couldn't deal with.

We talked very long and after this we looked each other took at the same time took a deep breath and said: "Wow, now I'm happy again!". What a relief!

I was so relieved in this moment it felts as if a huge knot in my stomach was opened. I could proper think again and breath. I felt again released.

And I made my decision after the chat: 
I'll leave with the Spanish guys on Sunday and I don't care if the hosts are pissed or not. The situation there was unbearable for me and I wanted to feel comfortable again. 

Yeah! I was happy again and really proud about me that I made my decision and didn't fear anything. I felt just pure self-confidence.

On our way back to the farm Yeray turned out to be very funny. He turned completely from the closed and quit guy into a very extroverted person. 

For me it was the same that I became the one who I really am.

I felt comfortable again and got stupid ideas like "let's throw the old tyre. The one who reaches the best distance is the winner..." Or trying to dance Salsa in rubber boots, jumping on the straw piles... Jap after our talk and the knowledge that we'll leave we started to create the place great for us. We had a lot of fun together. 

I told my host that I'll leave with the Spanish guys. I promised that I'll help them on Saturday (that was a busy day and my host wasn't at home due to a competition of her daughter so she relied on me that I'll feed the calves and care their horses). I gave my word that I'll do a proper job and that she can rely on me but I'll leave on Sunday due to I feel very lonely there. 

For my surprise she understood and there was no discussion. The opposite was the case that she said sorry for that. But I think in the way I told her my decision (clearly and precisely) it was quite clear there was no need for a discussion.

Therefore I was even happier and had the feeling I could scream very loud or hug someone very huge. But I suppressed it. I'll take this energy for another opportunity... 

The Saturday was our day and we worked pretty hard but had a lot of fun together even it was stressful and we were very tired. It was great team work and we helped each other. Actually, we were very well organised, hence the work went very quick. 

No pressure just fun, laughing and helping each other. Well, totally different as if we worked with our hosts... 

I learnt from my Spanish and Italian friends that we can concentrate at work and making a lot of fun at the same time without messing things up. Because I fall a bit back into my old pattern to concentrate, being serious and focused too straight at the work without looking around. But this way closed myself. 

So I let this go and tried another way and it was great and it worked and I was happy!

The following pictures should prove my experience:

Who dares? Kisses from a cow...

I'm going 'Gassi' with my huge dog :-)

The smaller dogs...

Time for cuddling...

Jap... our own happy place

Well, the farmer shouted the whole time at the cows "Com' on! Fuckin' cow! Get on!". In the kitchen Yeray showed us his acting talent and imitated the farmers behavior. So funny! I had times where I couldn't stop laughing...

The Spanish guys and I left the farm together on Sunday. The host drove us together to Waterford where we went into a hostel and shared a room together. It was cheaper to stay in Waterford due to St Patricks Day on the next day. On the next day I took the first bus to Kinsale and was very relieved.

Pure relief... In the bus to Kinsale!

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Appreciation...

Well, now I really appreciate how easy it is to go into the supermarket buy my milk and butter but the work to get these things is very hard. 

In addition the EU regulation is quite though for the farmers which means it's added work. Especially the older farmers have really problems due to the regulation. And the regulations don't cares about weather conditions etc. But the farmers have to include the weather conditions into their planning... 

My hosts told me a lot of these things. No surprise they are so tired... 

I decided to travel back to Kinsale and that I'll stay there for a while until I've a new job. Therefore I want to ride I decided to check out the riding schools in Kinsale. I decided that I'll do something nice for myself.

When I came back to Kinsale I just told Dominic that I'll come back. 

I went to my former host and there was Terry and my host and I received such a hearty welcome that I almost started to cry for happiness. By the way it was St Patricks Day. Terry: "Jeanine! Great to see you!". I told them why I came back. 

My former boss organised immediately a room for me and got me a discount of the room rate. I got messages that I should come to the White House (it's a pub) to catch up with Taz (jap his name is spelled 'Taz' instead of 'Tas')... 

Well, now I really appreciate what for a great time I had in Kinsale and all the nice people I got to know there. 

Set yourself free

In this week on the farm I really received a lot of experiences and learnt again a lot of myself. Now I know how important it is if I feel unhappy and lonely and can't proper think that I just stop and watch the situation from above. If there is the possibility to talk to someone, then I'll do it. It's so relieving... 

First I thought something is maybe wrong with me... But I got the self-confidence after talking that nothing is wrong with me! The surroundings are not good for me and made me feel unhappy.

Of course I was afraid to go after just one week due to I nothing after this and I thought the hosts rely on me... But the truth is that I have nice people here in Ireland and I'm not responsible for my hosts who obviously didn't care that their information about the work was different to the reality...

If I feel uncomfortable and unhappy, then it's up to me to change this! I've to change my thoughts from feeling responsible and having doubts about myself to being aware what I can and what I'm worth for myself. If I love and respect myself, then I can make proper decisions and I'm happy!

Well, on the whole it was a great experience and I had a great time with the guys :-). Thank you so much!